The curious Kelran dust settled thickly through the air. Like the rain of Earth, it slipped from the clouds above, bounced off the ground, and then rolled into gutters and sewers. There was no wind so the dust fell straight. Wherever Fio walked, eddies churned behind him, dust slid off his shoulders. The dunes he left in his wake lasted only moments before sloughing apart and joining the flow of particles around them.
Fio had expected snow or sand. He had expected dunes and drifts. Fio had been in both blizzards and sandstorms, but he had never seen anything like this. The tiny particles that formed the dustfall were perfectly spherical and nigh frictionless. They refused to remain in piles, but spread out, rolled on until they settled into nooks and crannies. The dust behaved exactly like a liquid, but without the cohesion. Water without ripples. This was neither snow nor sand nor rain. It was dust.
4 comments:
OK, since I noticed you were actually checking this page on a semi-regular basis and that you were adding comments of your own, I figured that it would be safe for me to do as well.
With that taken care of, I'd like to say that this story is my favorite, thus far. Specifically, I thought it was described very well and I got a nice mental image of the surroundings. The only minor problem I had with it, though, was that if the 'dust' was supposed to be all smooth, round, and frictionless, how does Fio manage to stand on it, let alone walk? I answered that question myself by incorporating some sort of magical footgear on our protagonist...maybe of the electromagnetic variety or something that causes the dust particles to bind together when in contact with the footgear. When Fio takes a step, the boots cause a stirring of dust as the field applied is lessened, causing the particles to react naturally to the force of his forward motion.
Either way, I like this story.
-J
My original concept was a city of grates, sidewalks suspended above the ground that allow the dust to pass through and away. I didn't get to explaining it (or the trouble Fio gets into when he steps off the grates) but it did occur to me while putting this piece together. Magical footgear could also work...
erik and i agree ... "nigh" draws too much attention to itself. this pieces has a nice sci-fi feel, and nigh just throws it all out of wack. the rest of it has nice flow, though.
Jeeze, Molly! You and Erik are all sortsa crazy when you read this stuff.
Upon further review, I would have to agree with them, though. 'Nigh' definately has no place in a SF type environment and is out of place here. That is, unless a dragon or something pops out of the dust in fromt of Fio or something. If that happens, then by all means, 'nigh' the crap out of it.
-J
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